Spreading Awareness and ACCEPTANCE!

As I sit and think about all of the AMAZING qualities of my sweet boy.. I could go on and on talking about how talented he is, how intelligent he is, and how much he just loves life. He just brings so much joy to us. Another thing that describes our boy is autistic.

Last year, after what felt like an eternity, Jaxon received his autism diagnosis. Everything we knew about parenting was challenged.
We had to really begin to change the way we parented him. Some may not understand this, but when you have a child on the autism spectrum, you can't exactly parent them the way you parent the rest of your children. We realized what we were doing, just wasn't working for him and we had to find what fit best.

Reality is, having a child on the spectrum comes with it's own set of challenges and the world we live in just doesn't understand.

This post isn't going to be a comical one. This is a more serious topic that I really feel like people need to hear about.

I am going to go into a short list of things that every autism momma would want you to know about our sweet children. We always want the world to better understand our children. If you do not live this life, it is very hard to understand what each day looks like for us. Here is a little touch of what our reality is...

1. He isn't trying to be difficult.

I heard this once from a dear friend who also has a sweet boy with autism. She said, "He isn't giving us a hard time, he is having a hard time." Those words have never rang so true for us. Each day comes with a new set of challenges. Children with autism do not always know how to get how they feel into words. Think about it this way, if you had an ache in your body and the receptors in your brain picked up the pain but you literally could not voice that, that is just a touch of what an autistic child walks through. For us, it's easy to get out how we feel. Feelings are hard for autistic children to explain. Something so simple for us, is so difficult for them. In turn, what we see as a misbehavior or acting out, is actually them having a meltdown because they are having a hard time processing their feelings. You also have to take into consideration, some children with autism also have sensory issues. For Jaxon, trips to the store can be difficult if we don't keep him occupied. He sees everything, feels everything. The lights, the people, the shiny objects to see, the noises, the air conditioner humming, the carts coming through the door, the beeping of the registers, the children crying, the people talking, the bags rustling. I could go on and on. We don't see or feel all of these things.. autistic children try to process everything at the same time... wouldn't you become overwhelmed too?

2. We long to be included. 

It's easier for us to stay home. Jaxon is safe in our home. He can be himself in our home. He is completely used to us and the surroundings, noises, and lighting. Going out seems easy for people without autism. We do it all the time without even thinking. For Jaxon, it's something he has to be prepared for. We have to spend a good several hours preparing him for outings. Reminding him to stay with us, reminding him to remember to use boundaries and not be forceful with other children. He also has low muscle tone and doesn't realize how rough he is being. With all this being said, it's easier for us to just stay home, but we want so bad for our children to be able to go to the birthday parties, friend trips to the zoo, or something simple like the park. Each day we have to evaluate how he is feeling before we can go out. Sadly, we say no and stay home a lot of the time because once he has a meltdown, he is just drowsy and agitated for the rest of the day. Autism does that to you. We want so bad to go. Even if we stay home and decline more often than we should... still ask us to come. Still include us in your activities and outings. We will say yes as many times as we're able!

3. Hear us out...

We know we talk about autism probably a lot more than we should. We know that every time we talk about our kids, it comes up. You have to understand, this is the life we live and because of it, we really long to have others understand it too. Reality is, raising a child with autism is challenging and we just want to vent to you like you vent to us about your children. You don't have to fully understand it, but we just need to talk about it. We just want a listening ear. So.. please... hear us out!

4. We know what's best when it comes to our autistic child!

Every single child with autism is different. Each case is unique, which makes it difficult, at times, for people to fully understand autism. With that being said.. I have studied autism. I have studied and mastered (almost) my child's autism. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO PARENT HIM! I know he has meltdowns and you think I need to discipline him more. If you fully understood what caused a meltdown.. you wouldn't be telling me that. Please don't give me parenting advice when you don't have an autistic child. You have no idea why he acts the way he does or what causes him to act that way. You have no idea what goes through his head and how he tries so hard to be "normal" like the other children he's around. An outburst for your child means something completely different when it comes to my son! SO PLEASEEEE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! 🙏

5. Teach your children how to include our children!

Children with autism have difficulties making friends. Other children see our children as "weird" or "different". They don't understand our children and they struggle with interacting with them the correct way. Sadly, this in turn, turns to bullying our children without them realizing that they are. Our sweet boy has been bullied so much in his short six years of life, by children and adults. It BREAKS ME for him. He longs to have friends...and he doesn't have many, if any at all. I am in tears as I write this, because this is the reality with most autistic children. This is where you come in parents! If you have a friend with an autistic child, we beg of you, educate yourself on autism. Educate yourself on how to properly interact and how to teach your children to do the same. We are doing our best every single day to do the same with our children. Our babies long to be accepted and they long to have friends.

This topic I really could talk about for days. I just want our son to be understood and accepted.

Not every single post I make will be serious. There are just some topics that are so near and dear to my heart.

I grew up surrounded by autism. As a child and teen, I never knew that during that entire time, God was preparing me for this moment! God has truly blessed me with the sweetest boy. He brings so much joy to my life every single day. Even though each day comes with challenges, I wouldn't change my beautiful boy for anything!

Until next time, be blessed! 💓