I See You Mama!

Mama, I see you.

Mama, parenting is hard. I see you trying your best to keep it together each day for your family.
I see the struggle.
I see the pain.
I see you juggling everything at once, while you feel like it is all going to crash around you.

The laundry is stacked high.
The dishes are stacked high.
Your daughter just pulled out every single movie onto the living room floor for a third time today.

You've cleaned up juice off of the floor twice.
When is bedtime?
Mama, I see you.

Mama, I see you.
I watch you as you feel like you aren't doing enough.
I see the guilt on your face after you yelled at your son for running off in the store again.
I see the embarrassment that brings to you. You look for the eyes that judge you each time. You wonder if you should have even come out of the house today.
Mom guilt can be crippling.
Mama, I see you.

Mama, I see you.
I see you as you cry along side your toddler after her third meltdown in twenty minutes.
I see you as you are on the verge of giving up for the day.
I see you giving your children pizza for the third night in a row this week.
I see you regretting every single minute of it.
I see you making a list of tasks to complete and never crossing even one off.
I see you just wanting a break from it all.
I see you crying yourself to sleep wondering if you are enough.
Mama, I see you.

BUT!

Mama, I see you.
I see you loving your babies during their meltdowns better than anyone else could!
I see you continuously fighting and not throwing in the towel!
I see you bringing nourishment to your babies, even if it is just pizza again!
I see you doing your absolute best, even if you didn't get a chance to mark something off of your list!
I see you succeeding every single day, even on the hardest ones!
I see you waking up and doing it all over again because this is what you are meant to be doing!
Mama, I see you.

Being a mom can just be hard. We feel guilty, worthless, inadequate, anxious, judged.
We try our best each day, but wonder if our best is enough.
We struggle. That's just it. We struggle.

BUT Mama, I see you!
You are an overcomer.
You are resilient.
You are right where you are supposed to be!
You were handpicked to be their mommy!
Even on your hardest days, the good days are right around the corner.


AND MAMA, THERE IS NO SHAME IN ASKING FOR HELP!
Don't you ever feel like asking for help ever means that you aren't cut out for this.
NO ONE and I MEAN NO ONE has EVER had a perfect day! NO ONE!
Even the most put together people (I don't know what that's like), have bad days!
If you just need an extra set of hands, call someone.
If you need a nap because your nursling was up all night, call someone.
If you need someone to help with your dishes (this one's hard for me, but it's been done more times than I can count) call someone!
If you just want to go sit at the coffee shop without noise, call someone.
If you just need adult interaction, call someone.
Just CALL SOMEONE mama.
We are in this together. You are never alone in this wonderful chaos we call motherhood.
We are all walking through the same struggles. Why not walk hand in hand in the process?

It takes a village mama!
Find your tribe, and love them big!

SO, MAMA, I SEE YOU!
I SEE YOU ROCKING THIS!
Each day is a new day.
Each day is a fresh start.
Make the most of each day!
If the dishes and the laundry pile up..
If the house is a mess again..
Just try again tomorrow!

YOU GOT THIS MAMA!
I SEE YOU!






Until next time Mama.
Be Blessed.💋



P.S. I'm on Instagram! Please follow and I follow back: brbinson 💓

Spreading Awareness and ACCEPTANCE!

As I sit and think about all of the AMAZING qualities of my sweet boy.. I could go on and on talking about how talented he is, how intelligent he is, and how much he just loves life. He just brings so much joy to us. Another thing that describes our boy is autistic.

Last year, after what felt like an eternity, Jaxon received his autism diagnosis. Everything we knew about parenting was challenged.
We had to really begin to change the way we parented him. Some may not understand this, but when you have a child on the autism spectrum, you can't exactly parent them the way you parent the rest of your children. We realized what we were doing, just wasn't working for him and we had to find what fit best.

Reality is, having a child on the spectrum comes with it's own set of challenges and the world we live in just doesn't understand.

This post isn't going to be a comical one. This is a more serious topic that I really feel like people need to hear about.

I am going to go into a short list of things that every autism momma would want you to know about our sweet children. We always want the world to better understand our children. If you do not live this life, it is very hard to understand what each day looks like for us. Here is a little touch of what our reality is...

1. He isn't trying to be difficult.

I heard this once from a dear friend who also has a sweet boy with autism. She said, "He isn't giving us a hard time, he is having a hard time." Those words have never rang so true for us. Each day comes with a new set of challenges. Children with autism do not always know how to get how they feel into words. Think about it this way, if you had an ache in your body and the receptors in your brain picked up the pain but you literally could not voice that, that is just a touch of what an autistic child walks through. For us, it's easy to get out how we feel. Feelings are hard for autistic children to explain. Something so simple for us, is so difficult for them. In turn, what we see as a misbehavior or acting out, is actually them having a meltdown because they are having a hard time processing their feelings. You also have to take into consideration, some children with autism also have sensory issues. For Jaxon, trips to the store can be difficult if we don't keep him occupied. He sees everything, feels everything. The lights, the people, the shiny objects to see, the noises, the air conditioner humming, the carts coming through the door, the beeping of the registers, the children crying, the people talking, the bags rustling. I could go on and on. We don't see or feel all of these things.. autistic children try to process everything at the same time... wouldn't you become overwhelmed too?

2. We long to be included. 

It's easier for us to stay home. Jaxon is safe in our home. He can be himself in our home. He is completely used to us and the surroundings, noises, and lighting. Going out seems easy for people without autism. We do it all the time without even thinking. For Jaxon, it's something he has to be prepared for. We have to spend a good several hours preparing him for outings. Reminding him to stay with us, reminding him to remember to use boundaries and not be forceful with other children. He also has low muscle tone and doesn't realize how rough he is being. With all this being said, it's easier for us to just stay home, but we want so bad for our children to be able to go to the birthday parties, friend trips to the zoo, or something simple like the park. Each day we have to evaluate how he is feeling before we can go out. Sadly, we say no and stay home a lot of the time because once he has a meltdown, he is just drowsy and agitated for the rest of the day. Autism does that to you. We want so bad to go. Even if we stay home and decline more often than we should... still ask us to come. Still include us in your activities and outings. We will say yes as many times as we're able!

3. Hear us out...

We know we talk about autism probably a lot more than we should. We know that every time we talk about our kids, it comes up. You have to understand, this is the life we live and because of it, we really long to have others understand it too. Reality is, raising a child with autism is challenging and we just want to vent to you like you vent to us about your children. You don't have to fully understand it, but we just need to talk about it. We just want a listening ear. So.. please... hear us out!

4. We know what's best when it comes to our autistic child!

Every single child with autism is different. Each case is unique, which makes it difficult, at times, for people to fully understand autism. With that being said.. I have studied autism. I have studied and mastered (almost) my child's autism. PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME HOW TO PARENT HIM! I know he has meltdowns and you think I need to discipline him more. If you fully understood what caused a meltdown.. you wouldn't be telling me that. Please don't give me parenting advice when you don't have an autistic child. You have no idea why he acts the way he does or what causes him to act that way. You have no idea what goes through his head and how he tries so hard to be "normal" like the other children he's around. An outburst for your child means something completely different when it comes to my son! SO PLEASEEEE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! 🙏

5. Teach your children how to include our children!

Children with autism have difficulties making friends. Other children see our children as "weird" or "different". They don't understand our children and they struggle with interacting with them the correct way. Sadly, this in turn, turns to bullying our children without them realizing that they are. Our sweet boy has been bullied so much in his short six years of life, by children and adults. It BREAKS ME for him. He longs to have friends...and he doesn't have many, if any at all. I am in tears as I write this, because this is the reality with most autistic children. This is where you come in parents! If you have a friend with an autistic child, we beg of you, educate yourself on autism. Educate yourself on how to properly interact and how to teach your children to do the same. We are doing our best every single day to do the same with our children. Our babies long to be accepted and they long to have friends.

This topic I really could talk about for days. I just want our son to be understood and accepted.

Not every single post I make will be serious. There are just some topics that are so near and dear to my heart.

I grew up surrounded by autism. As a child and teen, I never knew that during that entire time, God was preparing me for this moment! God has truly blessed me with the sweetest boy. He brings so much joy to my life every single day. Even though each day comes with challenges, I wouldn't change my beautiful boy for anything!

Until next time, be blessed! 💓

A Love/Hate Relationship

Let's lay it out how it really is.

Parenting is the most rewarding, but also the hardest thing we have ever done!

Every single day is set forth with different challenges, set backs, and breakthroughs.
One day may be a complete success. You got your kids up, dressed, fed, and out the door on time. They went to bed at a decent hour and even ate all their dinner (which NEVER happens).

BUT...there are always those other days. The days your children fight CONSTANTLY. Getting them up and out the door is like pulling teeth! Why did you even cook that meal, because your son hates it all of sudden. They have been down the stairs fifteen times and you sent them to bed an hour ago!  Those are the days that you just have to throw in the towel and try again tomorrow.

I have a Love/Hate relationship with being a stay at home mom. This is the very thing that I knew God wanted me to do. It is the thing I longed for the most and here we are, three kids in and I am living the absolute dream.. most days!

You read that right... MOST days.

I am going to be very real and honest with you about what it is like for me being a stay at home mom. The reality is.. it's the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done. Bare with me as I go into why...

WHY I HATE MOMMIN'

1. It's beyond lonely.
Each day is the same for the most part. We wake up and do our day to day business which includes: homeschooling, meals, cleaning, diaper changes, naps, more cleaning, more diapers. Before you know it... the day is over. In that time, I talk a lot. I have full conversations every single day, but 90% of the time, it's with my children. When I signed up for being a stay at home mom, it never occurred to me that I would (here's me being very raw...) feel like I'm trapped in my home. I'll be honest. It took me a long time to really be okay with staying home constantly and not going places with my friends. You have to understand. I now have three children: one is autistic, one is a sassy toddler, and one is a newborn. We do not see the light of day often. Our four walls is where we subside. It is hard for us to get out, especially when my husband is working. So, I stay home with my babies, which I love, but it can be very lonely. AND IF I HEAR BABY SHARK ONE MORE TIME.....

2. What even is sleep?
7 weeks ago, I had our sweet Joelle. She fits into our family so perfectly, but let's be honest here... I forgot how much sleep I lost once a new baby comes into the picture. Before Joelle, I slept at night my nine hours. I also was taking a nap every day with Journee when I was pregnant with Joelle. I LOVE MY SLEEP! Who doesn't right? Joelle came and completely turned that upside down! I now am up most evenings until 3 AM then again by six for another feeding and force myself to get up by eight, but each day it gets harder to get up. I sure do miss not feeling exhausted every day. There's only so much coffee you can drink in a day...

3. Date night? What's that?
You heard that right. Before children or even if you just have one, you really feel like you have all the time in the world to spend with you spouse. I have three children. I literally have no idea the last time we had a kid free date. Maybe when we were dating... my poor husband. 😅
(My plan is to change that... but I have three children and I have literally tried to change that for three years.. so here's to hoping... 😋)

4. Mom Guilt is SO Real. 
I know you feel it too! Mom guilt can literally cripple you. Especially if you suffer from anxiety and depression... (that'd be me). You wonder if you should have said that differently. Were you too harsh? Is he watching too much tv? Did I really just have peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a second night? Every moment we are critiquing ourselves and wondering if we are doing this thing right. It's nerve wrecking!


5. Can I just pee in peace?!
Yeah... I don't honestly remember the last time I took a bathroom break without a child in there with me or banging on the door to let them in. Now Journee has learned how to open the door..

Parenting is hard.
.
.
.
.
.
.
EXTREMELY!

BUT! There are so many great things about being a parent that completely out way the bad!

WHY MOMMIN' IS THE BEST DECISION I EVER MADE

1. Endless Love!
People come in and out of your life. Relationships begin and end... but not with your children. My children are the most loving little people I've ever met! Jaxon could give you hugs all day long. Now it hasn't always been that way. With autism, he HATED snuggles and hugs growing up. Now we have to tell him about boundaries because he will hug complete strangers. He is SUCH a lover! Journee is shy with others, but when it comes to our family, she could snuggle all day. I love to hear her little voice ask momma for "shuggles". It never gets old. I lost a lot of people in my life, but one thing I can hold onto is I will always have my babies. I always have friends and someone to hold my hand.

2. My Perspective has Changed!
Growing up, my childhood was a bit rocky, a story for another day. I had no idea what parenting was like, what you had to go through, what you had to sacrifice. If I could say anything really good about my childhood, it was the love and sacrifice of my mother. Being a parent myself now, it really opened my eyes to what she had to go through to get to where she is now. I look up to her more than anything! One of the best things about being a mom, is having her as my baby's mamaw. She is the epitome of what a mamaw and momma should be. I wouldn't be the mommy I am today without her.

3. I have purpose!
Again, I will hit this topic another day, but growing up, I knew God had a purpose and a plan for my life. I knew eventually I would be here today looking back and thanking God for what he has done. I just never knew what that was. The ugliness of what I had to walk through as a child left me feeling worthless as a teenager. I didn't aspire to do anything great. It took me a long time to really figure out what I was supposed to do with my life. One day, as an adult, it finally clicked. I wanted to be a mommy and a wife. It was my deepest desire and through trial and error.. here we are. I have found my purpose. I am living out my dream.

4. I can obsess over Disney and blame it on my kids!
I have a very real obsession with Disney, cheesy Disney movies, all things Disney really. Now I have children and I can collect toys for them.. but really they're for me! The other thing I love is when I am in public and begin singing loudly or making animal noises... no one bats an eye because I have a toddler with me.. but if I was alone... I'd get some glances. 😂

5. I can be myself and they'll love me anyway. 
This is so huge.  I love that I can wear a pair of leggings, a shirt with a stain, and have the WILDEST hair and my sweet Jaxon will still let me know how beautiful I am. I can be me around my kids. They aren't going to tell me I am crazy for thinking, dressing, or acting a certain way. They are going to love me every step of the way, unconditionally.


Parenting is the best decision I have ever made.

I could not imagine my life without those three little babies.

IF I had a chance to go back and redo something.. I wouldn't.
I love our chaotic little beautiful life.



Until next time... be blessed! 💓